Grieving the loss of a loved one – whether furry or human – is difficult at any time of the year but especially at the holidays.
For many, the holidays can be a reminder of what they’ve lost. Friends and associates may expect you to be ‘better’ and it can be hard even going out and participating in festive events. Grief management experts remind us that these feelings of loneliness, anger, and sorrow are entirely normal. Whether it’s your first or 10th holiday without your loved one, there are meaningful ways to navigate your grief while still embracing the season.
There is no right or wrong way to manage the season. If you don’t feel up to events, say no. On the other hand, if being around others helps, join in. Holiday plans can often feel daunting. Instead of committing to events in advance, allow yourself flexibility. Friends and family will understand if you RSVP closer to the date.
If long-standing holiday traditions feel too painful without your loved one, consider modifying them. Changing the venue, time, or nature of your celebrations can help reduce the sting of old memories while encouraging new ones.
For instance, if you traditionally hosted the family gathering, this year you might prefer to attend as a guest.
Acknowledging your loved one’s absence can make their memory feel more present. Some families find comfort in creating rituals to honour their loved ones such as sharing a favourite memory of their loved one before opening presents, as a way of including them in the celebration.
You can also make your grief creative by making a donation to a worthwhile charity in the name of your loved one. Maybe your loved one had a cause they were passionate about, maybe they spent their valuable time volunteering at an organization. Making a donation in their name is a thoughtful and meaningful way to honour their life. Turning your grief into acts of kindness may help you, while also making a difference in your loved one's memory.
Honouring their memory by helping others can be a meaningful and healing tradition.Similarly, the loss of a beloved pet can be difficult to recover from and as a result, many people make donations to organizations like the HBSPCA in honour of their beloved companion.
The HBSPCA offers a pet loss support group to help people manage the loss of their pet.
You’ve loved your dear companion for a good many years when you realize that the time to say goodbye is near. Perhaps your goodbye was sudden and unexpected.
Losing a pet is never easy and sometimes it helps to understand how you might react and to talk to others who are experiencing a similar loss.
Julie Brooks is an HBSPCA volunteer who has conducted grief counselling groups for people who have lost a pet for the past 30 years. She states that the loss of a pet can be equal to the death of a person; the pain of the loss and the significance of the pet-parent relationship can be great.
It’s been said that one of the reasons why losing a pet hurts so much is because of animals’ unconditional and accepting love. But it’s also because they are very much a part of our lives and our routines. It’s very painful when that little heart no longer beats in your household.
Emotionally, people who experience the loss of a pet can feel deep sadness, a feeling of being lost, empty, lonely, disconnected, and unneeded. Life can feel confusing because your routine of caring for your best friend has suddenly ended.
For people who don’t have children, having a pet can mean having someone to take care of.
Losing a beloved pet can be incredibly difficult, but having a support network can make a world of difference during the grieving journey.
Our Pet Loss Support Resources are designed to aid those coping with recent loss, still grieving past losses, anticipating a pet's passing, or preparing for difficult decisions like euthanasia.
As a professional bereavement counsellor, our HBSPCA volunteer Julie understands that grieving the loss of a pet is a complete parallel to human bereavement and while the relationship is different, the love is very strong.
At our Pet Bereavement Education and Support sessions, Julie connects with people who have lost their animal companions. They safely share stories and tears, photographs and memories, and heal together with Julie's skilled guidance.
Have a safe and peaceful holiday season while you honour loved ones – of any kind – that you have lost.
For more information, visit our website: https://www.hbspca.com/animal-shelter/pet-loss-support
- By Pearl Wolfe
